While it may seem obvious that “of course” teens make mistakes, then why do so many parents still react or freak out when their teen makes a bad choice?
When working with parents, the one common factor that I notice is that many parents think it reflects negatively on them when their teen makes a mistake. So when something “wrong” happens, the parents takes it upon themselves and then subconsciously feel they have done something wrong or that they are a bad parent.
Or, parents are so busy with work and their own life that when their teen makes a mistake, the parent just feels overwhelmed or that it is a burden because it is now more work for them to go have to do. It’s unfortunate that so many parents have kids without considering the fact of how much time actually goes into raising a teen to become a successful adult. The irony here is that teens making mistakes is the job a parent signed up for! In fact, its in the job description.
Your teen is not just going to go from being young and immature to mature and responsible overnight. There is going to be lots of stumbling and falling down along the way that means you need to be there for guidance and support. This of course takes a lot of time and patience. It means you will have to go through each experience with them.
You can’t build a house on straw
The upside to spending lots of time with your teen when they make mistakes is that if you truly empower them to grow from each experience, they will need you less down the line which in turn will free you up to focus on other things in your own life. Helping your teen build a strong foundation so that they can be independent is the best gift you can give your teen.
So the next time your teen makes a mistake, look at it as an opportunity to bond with them and remember it’s the job you signed up for!
And as always, if you need some help with your teen, we’d love to be there for you!