Is your teen dealing with peer pressure? As your teen goes through these challenging times, they are going to be presented with so many tough choices that their friends are doing. Peer pressure is not just something teens have to deal with, all adults’ face this on a daily basis so when your teen starts to go through this, now is the time to teach them to think for themselves. When you are discussing an issue that your teen should not be doing like smoking, drugs, or plastic surgery (girls), as a parent if you just say “No because I say so” this leaves your teen not only frustrated, but disempowered and belittled. Where as if you actually explore each choice with them and point out the negatives involved and what they are actually doing by making that choice, in a sense you will guide them to make their own choice to not want to do it.
For example, if your teen wants to smoke cigarettes and you point out:
1. If they smoke because there friends are doing it then they are just followers instead of being a leader. All major teen role models (Kanye West, Lady Gaga, etc…) are leaders and not followers. So in a sense, how are they being cool by just following what their friends are doing?
2. Health issues associated with smoking – of course this is pretty obvious
However, as terrible as it may sound if your teen really wants to smoke and you have tried all “calm and centered” routes of exploring this with them, then firmly let them know where you stand, don’t judge them, and say when you are legally allowed (18) make your own choice. And if you choose to do it now don’t do it in the house and know that we do not approve, but we still love and accept you. It’s very important that if your teen does decide to do these things that you do not push them away by judging them or “freaking out”. When parents do this all it does is:
- Make your teens do it in secret
- Create distance between your relationships
- Lessens your chance of your teen coming to you with other tough choices down the line
There is no easy way around teen peer pressure. It’s one of those things that will define us for the rest of our life and has a huge impact on our identity and how we fit in society. Your teen just wants to fit in with his or her friends and all you can do is point out all sides of making certain choices. Make sure you point out very clearly, yet in a loving manner, what it is they are actually choosing. Be real with your teen and make sure you come from a place of unconditional love. By doing this, you don’t put them in a position of rebelling and make it that much easier for them to just choose a healthier choice sooner rather then later.
And as always, the Teen Support Institute is here to help!